Scaring Girls Off
Feb 5th, 2006 by Graham Booker
Oct 5 2005
“What is it about me that scares girls off?”
I suddenly asked a friend the other day;
I don’t think he expected a such a question
Our conversations just don’t go that way.
I am not sure what made me think of it;
It was like something out of the blue.
I suddenly thought that I may be scary,
And that there may be something I can do.
He said I’m too pensive in discussion,
Rather that simply paying attention.
I almost dismissed his comments,
But realized their truth upon inspection.
Then he decided to ask his wife.
She said it may simply not be true,
But if you look at the women around me,
You’d draw the same verdict I do.
That is not to say I don’t have friends.
There I believe I am status quo,
But when I go and try for something more,
I seem to always to get a “no”.
This fact was starting to bother me,
Almost to the point of desperation.
I lost sight of the real situation,
And that it is cause for celebration,
I should be thankful for my female friends,
And all the times where we have fun.
And instead of searching for a girlfriend,
Simply realize that I just don’t need one.
That’s real good advice. I have the same problem with girls too. I always seem to scare them off… I have tried writing notes to them, so after they read them, they look at their friends and get creeped out. Girls are just plain trouble!
That’s a well written poem. Maybe you should start of with being light-hearted around girls. The serious stuff should come when things start rolling.
Kim,
Actually, being light-hearted is someone my problem. I mostly end up being “just friends” and nothing more. At least now I have grown to appreciate these friendships and leave it at that.
Hey Graham, nice poem, I think I understand you, even if thats not my situation with girls. The key that worked for me at the end is: always be yourself, act as you feel natural, as your mind and heart tells you, even if you suspect its not “the way it s supposed to be”. When its real, love and intimacy are always unique code for two, sincerely invented for the moment and relation.
When you get to be “just friends”, just show you want more…! A lot of couples where originally “just friends”. There are no preconceptions, just shared happiness. That is love at the end: special people that makes you happy. Just… dont think about how you should do, because there is no real formula for that. That will destroy the real Graham. Just make the girl laugh, make her happy, make her smile. Ive seen your site and read your articles and poems and i am sure you can make a girl happy. That also demands an open mind, no much judging. Remember that. But it works! And dont give up, to love another human being is one of the best, the highest experiences in life. Women are a “magical mystery tour” man! Not to be missed! Good luck im sure by now you have your “dear one”. A big hug from “La” Argentina (a feminine country, land of the most beautiful, complex, and atractive women on earth, a factory of beauty) Santiago
graham.
murphy’s law :: the grass is always greener …
pls indulge what might sound like crocodile tears from someone who has spent his whole life (from junior high onwards) emeshed in one series of great passions after the other.
count yourself lucky that you are on the outside looking in! Love affairs so make for nice memories but they can consume all your time & energy — not to mention the danger of destroying your soul in the hands of a betrayer!
as a one of recently embiggened girth (ie i got fat after quitting smoking & regretting not marrying the (third!) ‘right’ girl), i can tell you that i am relieved that i do not even have to worry about girlfriends anymore!
small comfort, i know …
… and to tell the truth, i would be jealous of my ‘good fortune’ if i were someone else – but think of the ‘Talisman’ of charisma/attractiveness/charm/whatever/ as being like the cursed monkey’s foot! (daniel dafoe’s tale?): you THINK you want it until you actually have it, then you will do ANYTHING to get rid of it!